If I had been told last August that in a year’s time I would not only have a beautiful daughter, but I’d be married and living in England I never would have believed it. Any of it.
Just over a year ago my main concern in life was which happy hour I could recklessly throw away a good chunk of my paycheck at in order to blow off the stress of work before I went in again the next day and repeated the whole process all over. A consistent cycle of sickness.
How blessed I am to have been slapped HARD in the face with the new life I’ve come to know and love. When I reflect on how much has happened I have to give myself (and my husband) a pat on the back for having dealt with everything we’ve already been through together as well as we have. For someone who has struggled with extreme anxiety most of my life I am still unclear on how I haven’t yet spontaneously combusted. But I suppose that’s all in God’s good grace (or higher power, universe, energies, whatever you may believe in), isn’t it?
I’ve been blogging for just over 5 years now (wow!) and, like many other influencers, have been having that internal conflict – Do I keep going? Do I throw in the towel? Am I not good enough? Why are all these new accounts SO much more popular than mine? Does anyone even care about what I share? Should I be embarrassed I’m even sharing anything? Almost on a daily basis Satan rears his ugly head at me with this.
Over the past year, to be completely transparent, I have used blogging/influencing as an outlet simply to pull in an extra source of financial income. You see, when I found out I was pregnant, I was not only jobless, in the middle of a move to Charleston that was no longer going to happen, single and totally horrified, but I was also in $30,000 of credit card debt. Yes, that’s painful to openly admit… but it is what it is. I made some bad choices in order to continually suppress all of the things in my life that had me down.
Travel and drinking. Those were my two outlets. Let’s be honest, I love my wine, and I don’t really see myself totally giving that up (unless another pregnancy comes along) entirely, but I pray the drinking never returns to the intensity that it was before having my beautiful girl. Travel is something I will have a deep love for in the past, present, and future. I don’t regret any of my travel I have to say. Is that bad? Maybe a bit. #Whoops
All that being said, I started working my ass off the second I found out I was pregnant to get myself back in a better financial situation for me, for my child, for my future husband. With the help of consistent ads and sponsored posts, along with working hard for an AMAZING company (Albion Fit for which I will be forever grateful to!!) all the way up until three days before I had Arlington (I still have no idea how I was even standing by that point, see below), I finally got myself back in the green! Unfortunately along with that came a deep-seeded resentment for blogging. Not because I’m not grateful that it is an outlet that helped me so tremendously financially, but because it became the thing that consistently took me away from spending time with my baby and my husband once I was back working full-time. I stopped having any enjoyment from it, just full-blown rage.
When I started blogging it was a creative outlet that I could escape to at the end of day after day of hard work with my building business, Foodie Kids (now owned by Bonnie Jay who is doing an AWESOME job, if you’re in Austin please drop in with your kiddos). It ended up being a great way to meet new people and form new relationships with gals in Austin like Kaily, Jess, Hilary, Meg, Olivia, Ane, Rachel H, Jane, Michelle, Rachel S, just to name a few fabulous gals I met when I initially started blogging- I’ve met so many other wonderful bloggers/friends along the way that it would inundate this entire post to include them all 🙂
When I became pregnant my initial idea was to share about my experience in order to help in any way possible those who may be going through the same experience. Sadly, I allowed ads and sponsored content to take away any time for that.
Now we’re in England. Although exciting and the start to a new chapter of life, moving abroad with a new baby is far from a walk in the park. I know there are other mama’s out there who have gone through and/or are going through the same thing as us, if not a similar situation. I want to be able to share my experience through this outlet and help, or at the very minimum entertain/give a good laugh to, those experiencing the same transitions.
I want to get back to a place where I enjoy writing again, enjoy creating content again, a place where I focus less on the likes and what businesses think of my brand, and more about enjoying what I do and sharing what I want to share whether it’s pretty and fluffy or raw and sometimes shameful.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I’ll never do an ad again (I actually have a few coming up)- but I want to be more cognitive of sharing raw, true content in leu of ad after ad. If there’s something I love or believe in, of course I will take on sponsored content. BUT I don’t want that to be all it is. There’s more to why I started blogging than that and there’s more to why I’ll continue.
Things will be a-changin’ around here, so I totally get if it’s not for you, but thank you for the years of support!! Pop a comment below and let me know what questions you have/are curious about/or would like to see here in the future. AND as always thank you for reading!
xoxo Kaley Margaret